Sunday, November 14, 2010

Filling in the Blanks in my delusional confusion when posting about my outrageously nasty hotel room the other night I seemed to have left out some serious details about the trip. BUT the very first order of business is going to be changing 'The Puma's ' name to something more suitable; Perhaps 'The Dream Crusher' would be more suitable? Better yet, 'The Walking Chastity Belt' ? I don't know. I can't really decide because I love both of the very much so I am just going to play around with them until I decide on a favorite.
 Back to more interesting business would be that I am very glad to say that the college visit yesterday went beautifully. Not only was the campus absolutely gorgeous, but my tour guide was extremely dorky; which of course made me laugh hysterically. And the fact that she tripped, while walking backwards and then proceeded to be OCD about the dirt on her khakis was hilarious in itself. Also we were invited to watch a performance that was going to be held on campus later that evening; as our guide was boring us with the details an obvious theatre boy walked by (guy liner, skinny jeans, black scarf..typical) and shouted that if we came to the performance we could watch him get his eyes gouged out which instantly sealed the deal for me. Unfortunately we did not attend the play but I am sure that it was absolutely splendid. Who doesn't like a good eye gouging? I know I do.
Instead, after we were done college touring for the day The Chasity Belt and I ventured to the local mall where we were too broke to buy anything, so we instead just walked around and people watched for a while; given we were two of the thirty people in the mall at four in the afternoon. Although we did pass by one group of prepubescent children several times; the group consisted of three boys who looked like varying Justin Beibers and one little girl who was pretending to text the whole time. I mean really? who are you texting when your with three Beibers? Your mom? Yea, cause she would actually care. The Chastity Belt lovingly called this little troupe The Beibs; original. After walking around for thirty minutes without buying anything we decided to ditch the mall and just go to walmart, because there never seems to be a shortage of things you can entertain yourself with at walmart. We bought 1. strawberry pop tarts 2. Mediterranean Chips 3. mountain dew 4. the third season of Criminal Minds. Needless to say we stayed in our hotel room from 5:30 til 9 o'clock wondering why it felt strangely like 1 in the morning. After this realization and all the sugar I had eaten earlier finally caught up to me and I had a throbbing headache. The Chasity Belt, being the sickly thing she is, just so happened to have some Loratab that she was willing to share with me; I must admit that she warned me that I would either be one of two things 1) I could be extremely tired or 2) I would feel really good. Neither of those things really alarmed me so I graciously accepted expecting to feel the side affects after thirty minutes or so, but nothing ever happened. Until about midnight when we decided sleep might be a smart idea. That was when the meds decided they wanted to make me extremely hyper. I then started jumping around our small hotel room, on the beds and rolling around in the sheets until I got so wound up I could not escape from my taco like prison. We then watched SNL until we passed out. Sadly enough the drive home was extremely boring, for lack of a better word. And so concludes the adventurous weekend of The admirable Chastity Belt and the Littlest Tuna. Until next time....

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