Tuesday, November 30, 2010

No inspiration for a blog what. so . ever

So I've been trying to write a blog with witty banter and interesting metaphors for the better part of an hour but I serious have nothing. Its just not really working in my favor tonight; which is incredibly depressing because I don't even have the energy to talk in third person. I'm exhausted, attempting to get back into the groove of getting up at a certain time of the morning but this blog is not for venting and ranting and being annoying so I shall move on. I suppose since I seriously have nothing else to talk about the winkey face situation is going splendidly. I will tell you however that I had a scary nightmare several days ago in which ;) went in to hug me, miraculously sprouted a HUGE chin and proceeded to knock me to the ground with it. This event put me in a state of shock and I woke up with an irrational fear of being hit in the forehead with a giant chin. Fortunately today I went to school and we had a perfectly normal conversation and we shared a normal embrace which was a success in my mind. Unfortunately we only get to see each other 5 minutes out of the day because he is a junior and I am a senior (but he is older than me , and I am technically supposed to be a junior anyway, which makes me not a cougar lady) I just thought that since we were now back at school together we would no longer  be texting 24/7 but to my awesome surprise I received a text message on my way to yoga this afternoon in which winkey asked me if i had left campus or if I was staying for dinner. SIDE NOTE: I am not a stalker. I just so happen to know alot about people's schedules so that in case of emergencies I would be able to locate them. not to mention I am in that group of friends that enjoys sitting in the corner table (semi circle style) and watches everyone/talks about them/ talks about why other people aren't there. We are gossipers I am aware of this. BACK TO THE POINT: over a few weeks of my weird people watching/not taking I had noticed that winkey face does not normally partake in dinner in the campus dinning hall (who can blame him? ...I eat cereal) anyway he said he would meet me there at 5:30. Needless to say I was pretty excited. But upon my arrival I noticed that nothing had changed and he was with his group of crazy friends and I was with mine, laughing hysterically at absolutely nothing like...What if turkeys had turrets? wouldn't that be hilarious?...Yes we are extremely mature. My friend (we shall call her Tigger) was one of the only of my friends that knew just how much I liked winkey face had noticed that I was creeping around my shoulder trying to keep an eye on him and was subliminally messaging me. But I didn't see winkey anywhere so I assumed that he had already left considering it had been about an hour already. Turning back to my friends I got back into the conversation. Some time later by pure chance I turned around and saw Winkey about to leave...but he was looking at me. But not in a creepy way, just trying to get  my attention. Trying not to do something to embarrass myself I waved (a wave I believed to be mildly discreet) and to my amazement he smiled, waved back and then proceeded out the door. It was adorable and I'm not going to lie and say it was stupid; I loved it. Turning back to my friends happily, it turned out that my discreet wave...wasn't so discreet. And I immediately had my phone stolen, searched and under went a lengthy interrogation. Because I had neglected to share my relationship information with the main portion of my friend circle they were both interested and upset that I didn't tell them sooner; although one of my friends (bookie) is not a very big fan of Winkey so I didn't really want her input or opinion on how she thinks winkey is a douche bag. Anyway. I just feel really bad because winkey is already homesick and its the first day back to school and we only have 18 days and then there is Christmas vacation. It kinda makes me sad that I really don't know how to comfort him for that because I know I cry like a baby when I'm away from home for more than a few days so I don't know how I would deal with being away from home for months at a time. And no, I don't think it makes him any less of a man to get home sick. Its sweet in a sad way. lol. I guess that's all I really got for now. If you get this far, I just wanna thank you for actually reading my mindless teenage dribble. And now I am going to pass out.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

A very wise woman once told me to "Never smell something after is been in your mouth"

My life is an abysmal swirling black hole of depression.  Just kidding! :) But seriously; I'm sad. :'( No Bueno. My dearest friend! And loved one! and superhero best friend! The walking Chastity Belt! Went under the knife for 3 hours today! For you see, even the most amazing, talented and fearless Chastity Belts have one weakness; The great and formidable foe....THE WISDOM TOOTH!!!! D: ! Scary, I know. But the Chastity Belt, being the brave (and cheap) person that she is decided not to have one, not two, but FIVE! teeth removed at once! CRAZY! So I have not heard from my beloved Chastity for a whole twenty four hours as of six minutes ago! And considering crazy awesome things generally happen when we are together...today was pretty darn boring. I pretty much stayed in my room all day....slept til 11:44......took a shower....watched Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (which is officially the very best HP movie ever) and watched the new GLEE tonight :D ! which I love so dearly. But even my uncompilable love for Harry Potter (even though I find Daniel Radcliffe pretty nasty looking) and Glee could not distract me from my utter loneliness. So this blog is dedicated to my Chastity Belt who was dearly missed today, but hopefully she is too drugged up to really notice. <3
         In other news, Chastity and I ventured to see the latest HP last night as a sort of last Hooray for C before she went under the knife. ..even though the Chastity Belt has no earthly clue what is really going on in the movie she went with me 1) so I would stop talking about it 2) because the buddy system is an essential 3) there was nothing better to do 4) she all about my over all happiness (Ain't she so sweet?! ) Needless to say that I loved the movie but I was also sort of uninterested which disappointed me a little. It was kind of predictable but that could also have something to do with the fact that I have been overdosing on criminal shows lately and I have taken up the habit of trying to figure out the ending before I get all the clues and sometimes I'm not half bad....an other times I am accusing the family pet of murder. .But hey, you win some and you lose some. Over all my Harry Potter needs were happily met. :) .
        As for Mr. ;), things are going swimmingly with the cute little texts and such. Although tonight he was on his way to spend Thanks Giving with his grandparents and cousins. Cousins are officially the best family ever (no offense mom and dad) but they are related to you, without being completely up in your business and they are almost non related in such a way that they are just seriously close friends; just my personal observation on the situation. But I was the designated 'entertainer' for him on his drive to Alabama; unfortunately I am a horrible at this apparently. But this was unbeknown st to me until about four hours ago. We got into a discussion which then lead to how I have absolutely nothing to do in my hometown but he suggestively said d that there had to be "something" I could "do" to "entertain myself". I mean really? come on. Nasty. I understood him but then he confused me because he was explaining what he meant...but I already knew what was going on so then I was confused...and he was confused and then I had to go anyway so we dropped it lol. Needless to say we are equally dysfunctional and that is just fine.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Tuna and Chastity go to the rodeo!!

Cutting right to the chase here. Two days ago Chastity belt's older brother, his wife and a lot of other people we are related to by technicality decided they wanted to go to the rodeo in Clemson. Chastity and I love the rodeo. BUT were we invited?! NO! We were not invited to this momentous occasion and were very disheartened because there was no love to be felt. So after hearing about this through word of mouth we decided we would go by ourselves....but there was only one problem...neither of us knew how to get there! But you may ask: But Tuna, doesn't CB's dad have a GPS? and I would answer: why yes my smart friend he does! Fortunately things did not get that serious. Actually, truth be told, CB and I had decided not to go to the rodeo at all; I mean who want to pay $20 to watch 3 hours of hot, rough outdoors men riding around on beautiful horses or risking their lives being dare devils on giant man crushing bulls?...............................OK so we were a little put out by the whole situation. We were sitting in our favorite Mexican restaurant when Chastity gets a phone call from her brother's wife saying that two people had bailed out of the rodeo because they weren't feeling well...YAY FOR DISEASE! :D ! The only catch was that we had to be ready in an hour. Neither of us had finished eating dinner and we were not cowgirl ready. Calling up my connections (aka Tuna Grandma)  got my cowgirl apparel which included my Georgia boots, faded jeans, a flannel shirt and I had to touch up the red lipstick. Gotta love that stuff.

The Walking Chastity Belt and I (The Littlest Tuna) at the rodeo!

 AND we were off to the rodeo, little pony earrings on and ready to cowgirl up. Arriving, the smell of manure immediately overwhelmed my sense but soon settled in and it felt normal (a perk of living in a farming family). They had the whole shebang. Selling over priced food, cowboy hats and pony rides to all the city people willing to pay for the mediocre service. When things were beginning to get started I thought that maybe there would be a cute cowboy or two but nothing special, and I definitely did not expect for there to be more than one or two boys there my age (17-20) . But to my great surprise they were spilling over with cute daredevil cowboys. Although I did find one that stuck out in my mind, but seriously I only liked him for his horse. But all in all..he was pretty cute.

 ;) was less than impressed with my love for the rodeo although. But it was kind of cute that he now calls me cowgirl...even though that is the last thing that I could be. And no matter how adorable and sweet the guy..you will inevitably have that awkward talk about what you want for your future. It ALWAYS comes up eventually and with that comes your views on sex and other things. Talk about awkward teenage life in a nutshell. But the rodeo was amazing and hilarious especially when there is a very large Hispanic family in the row behind you. But that is not even the funny part. There was an adorable Hispanic girl in an outrageously large puffy jacket that seemed to think that Chastity and I were the most comfortable things to lean on and rub all over.Being my normal self, I could not contain my laughter and disrupted everyone within close proximity. Life is always an adventure, especially when you are a little tuna. 

Friday, November 19, 2010

Winkey Face? ;)

        SO The Littlest Tuna has been home from her college trip for a week, but little did she know about the adventures that would arise when she returned to the littlest pond that she calls home. But before I get to the real chase of this blog lets just have a moment of clarity. They call me the Littlest Tuna, in basic I LOVE TUNA, for no real reason. Some women love pickles, some crave icecream, no my ransom cravings usually call for tuna or peanut butter..but the littlest peanut butter was just not cool enough. And 'the littlest' is self explanitory, Im amongst the five shortest people I am aware of (the ones that don't get scholarships for being a little person anyway). The walking chastity belt is my loving older cousin. She is basically just like me except older, wiser and a good bit friendlier (most of the time). This being said we are both awesome, beautiful, christian women who are virginous and pretty much clueless when it comes to men. .. as most women are. BUT BACK TO THE POINT.
           There is a new twist in the plot of my life lately and we shall call him Winkey Face,WF or ;) , depending on my mood. He is cute, sweet, sarcastic and just your basic teenage dude who apparentally loves horror movies to the maxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx. Winkey Face has been talking to me every night on Facebook since we began talking two weeks ago. At first he was stand off-ish and acted fairly uninterested. But over the weekend we didn't talk and after I got back to school we still gave those akward looks in the hallway that pretty much say "i want to talk to you, but I dont want to be the one to start the conversation" just the basic frustrations that occur during the 5 minutes in between classes. Finally being seriously lame and having watched too many romantic comedies, I decided we needed to know more about each other so we played a less epic version of 20 questions. I learned he likes snow boarding, tennis, scary movies (seriously!), reading, smallville and all other things awesome. Then he started asking me random questions and then proceeded to criticise my every answer but apparentally his sarcasm did not translate to me very well and I got slightly miffed when he said i was a 'baby' for not liking scary movies and not being able to watch them alone. That was when I realized I had the latest Nightmare On Elm Street on my computer and decided to watch it alone, at night, on a school night and I was determined to not be afraid of Freddy. Fortunetally by the end of the movie I was so exhausted I passed out and drept about my usual things (boys, candy, unicorns,sparkles etc..) Afterwords I tagged him in a facebook post because I wanted him to know about my little endevour in attempts to up my awesome. He then told me that the movie wasn't even scary and the acting sucked. I then asked him to share his knowledge on the subject and the conversation seemed to go off from there. Although, The walking Chastity belt made my life rather difficult whilst I was trying to flirt and not seem weird (which is hard for me believe it or not actually). TWCB wanted to know what WF looked like because I will admitt that the littlest tuna has bad taste in men. Chastity seems to think that Winkey is rather cute and a nice change to the usual guys Tuna is interested in and thought it would be funny to tourment her while she was talking to Winkey because it was funny. CB held up a rather cute picture of Winkey in front of Tuna's face while she was trying to chat with him peacfully on facebook to no evail. No matter because we now have a date set for sometime after thanks giving and before christmas. Am I excited for my date? Yes. Do scary movies scare the crap out of me? Yes. Will there be possible cuddling? I'm not sure. But I will deffinetally keep you updated throughout the holidays. I think I might possibly like this Winkey Face fellow, yes I think I might.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Filling in the Blanks

Ok..so in my delusional confusion when posting about my outrageously nasty hotel room the other night I seemed to have left out some serious details about the trip. BUT the very first order of business is going to be changing 'The Puma's ' name to something more suitable; Perhaps 'The Dream Crusher' would be more suitable? Better yet, 'The Walking Chastity Belt' ? I don't know. I can't really decide because I love both of the very much so I am just going to play around with them until I decide on a favorite.
 Back to more interesting business would be that I am very glad to say that the college visit yesterday went beautifully. Not only was the campus absolutely gorgeous, but my tour guide was extremely dorky; which of course made me laugh hysterically. And the fact that she tripped, while walking backwards and then proceeded to be OCD about the dirt on her khakis was hilarious in itself. Also we were invited to watch a performance that was going to be held on campus later that evening; as our guide was boring us with the details an obvious theatre boy walked by (guy liner, skinny jeans, black scarf..typical) and shouted that if we came to the performance we could watch him get his eyes gouged out which instantly sealed the deal for me. Unfortunately we did not attend the play but I am sure that it was absolutely splendid. Who doesn't like a good eye gouging? I know I do.
Instead, after we were done college touring for the day The Chasity Belt and I ventured to the local mall where we were too broke to buy anything, so we instead just walked around and people watched for a while; given we were two of the thirty people in the mall at four in the afternoon. Although we did pass by one group of prepubescent children several times; the group consisted of three boys who looked like varying Justin Beibers and one little girl who was pretending to text the whole time. I mean really? who are you texting when your with three Beibers? Your mom? Yea, cause she would actually care. The Chastity Belt lovingly called this little troupe The Beibs; original. After walking around for thirty minutes without buying anything we decided to ditch the mall and just go to walmart, because there never seems to be a shortage of things you can entertain yourself with at walmart. We bought 1. strawberry pop tarts 2. Mediterranean Chips 3. mountain dew 4. the third season of Criminal Minds. Needless to say we stayed in our hotel room from 5:30 til 9 o'clock wondering why it felt strangely like 1 in the morning. After this realization and all the sugar I had eaten earlier finally caught up to me and I had a throbbing headache. The Chasity Belt, being the sickly thing she is, just so happened to have some Loratab that she was willing to share with me; I must admit that she warned me that I would either be one of two things 1) I could be extremely tired or 2) I would feel really good. Neither of those things really alarmed me so I graciously accepted expecting to feel the side affects after thirty minutes or so, but nothing ever happened. Until about midnight when we decided sleep might be a smart idea. That was when the meds decided they wanted to make me extremely hyper. I then started jumping around our small hotel room, on the beds and rolling around in the sheets until I got so wound up I could not escape from my taco like prison. We then watched SNL until we passed out. Sadly enough the drive home was extremely boring, for lack of a better word. And so concludes the adventurous weekend of The admirable Chastity Belt and the Littlest Tuna. Until next time....

Friday, November 12, 2010

The scetchiest hotel in existance/ First college visit of my life

So I started this month with completely innocent intentions. As a senior in a private highschool I am living it up...in my mind atleast. I've already applied to six colleges of interest and christmas is still a month away. Berry College is one of my top two choices I have in mind. I recieved a letter in the mail a few months ago about an all day college visit which would include a visit of their huge (not to mention beautiful ) campus, a financial aid informational session and all the other enjoyable things that college has to offer.
    I started off searching for the cheapest possible hotel room I could book for two days with my older cousin (lets just call her The Puma) considering she had already been through the college process and is a well educated therapist; I assumed that as long as we stuck together we could survive anything. This once easy task is being put to the real test. After driving for three hours and taking the longest possible route to our seemingly promising hotel, we arrived at a one story Howard Johnson . I swear on my life and on all things delicious and tuna flavored that the descriptions for this hotel were impressive. I should have known that it was too good to be true because it was seriously cheap. Upon arrival the Puma and I were hesitant to even get out of the car, let alone walk into the extremely undersized office, I suppose is what you would call it. Once we stepped inside the office I immediately noticed the man being waited upon has a comb over..with enough grease in it to fry an order of chicken strips. Not to mention the smell was that of a nursing home. Looking around the office i then noticed what appeared to be a toy lizard on the floor; that was until it started running around and running up chairs. Honestly, out of all the animals that could possibly infest a hotel room? lizards? REALLY?! Do things seriously get any weirder? The answer is an impecable yes. Once we left the office we drove around to check out our room situation, but as we were unloading our things into our room we couldn't help but notice that our neighbors were having fun boozing it up before the sun had even set. Then after settling in and deciding that the conditions were livable we went back out in search of food. When we arrived back at our room we hurried back inside before our friends next door could invite us in for a drink. Then we proceeded to unpack a little, eat our dinner, and call our families all while watching the normal crime thrillers that are always on TV. Although sadly enough the smell of urine has started emerging from parts of the carpet and out of the comforters on the beds. This situation is survivable but nearly unbearable. And I could not think of a better way to start a blog.